The Role Of Friends And Family

Published: 18th February 2010
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Friends and family can provide help and comfort - or can add to the problems. Some people find that telling them about the treatment involves admitting to their own sense of failure and they do not want to do that. Others worry about becoming a burden in talking about the minutiae of the treatment, or feel that coping with relatives' feelings of disapproval, sympathy or sorrow can be too big an extra burden - especially if the treat¬ment does not work. There may be embarrassment at explaining very intimate details, or exposing emotions that you might not even have talked through with your partner before.

Once the initial hurdle of telling is overcome, friends and rela¬tives can be the most important support network of all. Here are some of the ways they can provide help:


One of the best things friends and relatives can do is simply to listen to you as you go through the ups and downs of treatment. You may need to talk to someone about the minutiae of the injections, scans and your reactions to them. Having someone on the other end of the phone can be invaluable.

Providing practical help

Some women have friends or relatives who are prepared to help by giving injections. Alternatively, if your partner cannot go with you on visits to the clinic, they can step in with moral support or for practical help like driving you home afterwards. Talk to them freely, so they can understand what you are going through.

Carrying on as usual

In the middle of all the treatment, it's easy to let your social life go. Friends can help by inviting you round. They can organise outings or ask you to stay, to help ease the tension of waiting for results. But they must also accept that sometimes you want your privacy.

Sometimes other people find it hard to cope with your difficulties. Acuities in having a baby, or with your treatment. It might be embarrassment, or not knowing what to say, like the silence that often surrounds bereaved people. It can be temporary, so you can rebuild the relationships once you have finished treat¬ment - whether successful or not. Or it can mark a permanent shift in your life and relationships.

Quite apart from deciding whether to tell friends or family, there is also the issue of what you say generally when people ask whether you have children. Some prefer to keep their condition, treatment and feelings to themselves. For others, being able to talk about infertility and its treatment is part of a process of self-assertion and personal development.

Shirley M. Duran is a mother of two and an author of a variety of related lifestyle issues and topics with which has helped hundreds of mothers become pregnant. If you have any pregnancy questions for which you need answers, it is recommended to visit:

Copyright © Shirley M. Duran, All Rights Reserved. If you are interested in using this article make all the urls (links) active. Thank you!

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